I was having a conversation with a client yesterday about how when he's on camera he has a habit of saying umm...a lot! He has even considered speech therapy for it, although he hasn't ever done it.
As we were chatting it quickly became apparent that he felt the need to fill all the spaces, not just on video, and umm has become a transition for him, a moment to collect his thoughts even though he knows what he's talking about and the content is completely natural.
Simply taking a breath or a pause wasn't working as he would simply forget to do it. However, as soon as we flipped the story to it being about his audience and clients, his umms diminished almost immediately.
By changing his mindset to creating time and space for his audience to process what he is sharing allowed them (me) to take on board and understand far more. It increased the value of his message and meant that I wasn't being rushed onto the next part before what he'd just said had sunk in.
Flipping the story to be about the receiver of your message rather than about you changes so many things without you needing to consciously think about it.
Video is a perfect example of how we often feel the need to fill all the spaces, in life. It may be because you feel uncomfortable with the silences or because you get excited (the latter is usually my problem). By flipping your thinking to it being about giving your audience (friends over coffee or on a video), it gives them a chance to take in what you're saying. It's a great way to add space and let those umms, actual and metaphorical, fall away.
If you'd like to have a chat to me about your umms either on video or in your life send me a message and let's chat.
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